How to Sell a Car

My friend’s car has been the unfortunate recipient of all our spraypaint, stickers, cardboard and other bad ideas. It seemed like our work and time had increased the resale value so I wrote up an ad and posted it on a couple classifieds sites. Just to clarify the NOS system is a garden hose and a blue can, the JVC sound system is off a home stereo and the racing stripes are duct tape.

Green

This is possibly the best 1988 Dodge Shadow the world has ever seen. If you’re interested in basic details it is a fwd, 2.2L, Auto, 4 cylinder car made by Dodge in the late 80’s. The name Shadow fits the car very well, everytime I sit in it I am reminded of ninjas and Japanese B-movies with names like “The dark warrior of shadow night”.

I’ve done a lot of custom work to this car and it’s definitely become a sweet one of a kind ride. The exterior has had a lot of custom styling done, two manly racing stripes in black add to the overall speed factor of the car. These are professionally done and completely accurate and not slightly off in any way. The black shadow theme continues with my custom tail fins, these are done to look like an old Cadillac mixed with an F1 car.

By the time you buy this car I will have finished the carbon fibre / lightning bolt hood. The hood is going to be painted like carbon fibre so that you go faster and then have lightening bolt silhouettes so that you can strike down peasants like Zeus. If you had a passenger they could sit in the passenger seat and make sound effects like “Kzzark” and “Zwoosh”.

The custom painted rims are done in an attractive two tone colour, tractor green and black, symbolic of the mighty tractoresque four cylinder and the shadowy blackness of night. These rims were painted with the highest quality paint available and a paint spraying technique taught to me by a Cuban pin striping master tradesman.

This amazing car also comes with a completely legitimate NOS system. Hand installed by my own hands the NOS runs out of the blue tank, through the hose and back into the blue tank giving you double the NOS for free! I installed a mini NOS purge container into the main line, this is converted from an old fuel filter and works very well. I had multiple NOS buttons on various handy location in the car but due to the heat it has been reduced to only one button. It still works very well.

The JDM stickerbombed bumper will make people admire the car in even more detail. They marvel at the selection of stickers from quality brands which include but are not limited to: SDOR, Mongoose, Mountain Hardware, Freeride Boardshop, Giant, 661, Magnaflow, LA Sportiva, Venture Gear, Spanish warning signs, and other JDM brands. I was going to stickerbomb the gas cap but instead put a custom sparkly Hulk fabric covering on it. This turns heads like nothing else, his great green biceps sparkling in the sun like some goblin fairy combination. Plus he frightens off potential gas theives.

I ran a full custom sound system, two massive JVC speakers in the boot, these things pound like a jackhammer. They’re hooked to a custom installed 87 Ford Deck to keep the retro styled interior theme. This deck has am/fm radio, iPod input and tapes. The radio tuning is the only major thing that doesn’t work on this car, it works fine when I am at Big White but that is it. Fortunately it can still go through the presets so just find a station that’s pretty close to one of those. Or you could just go and tune it at Big White. The deck has little knobs for bass and treble, I usually turn the bass all the way and drive around rattling my windows. I get a lot of people asking for my number this way.

Further plans for this car include a disco ball, redone interior and a two tone paintjob.

I am asking $5’000 for this car which is very reasonable. Price is OBO. Please email me.